La vida, es mejor que nunca conozca. Es posible que la pena sea más tremenda que la felicidad. Pero, la vida no es completa sin los dos. La vida, es mejor, nunca me lo de demasiada felicidad porque la pena que se equivale el valor, ya no puedo aguantar nunca más...
I never mentioned this, but everytime Chris screws me over (when I stalk his facebook wall), I turn to this guy at work. But now, when I am particularly down. Even my fling is moving on.
I guess I'm not the kind of girl a guy would want to date. Have sex?Yes, girlfriend? No. I never experienced been brought home, or being the profile photo of my past boyfriends... It's as though I'm an embarrassment. I guess I am.
A walking zombie, with a smile telling people I'm okay. Convince myself I'm gonna be. Do I believe it? Maybe.
People live a pretentious life, don't they?
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
It's over
Every tingly bad omen I get, comes true.
In this case, I suspect my ex has a new girlfriend. Yes, I'm still stalking him.
And he is moving on. Although my brain has told me this a million times, but still, my hearts says... Maybe, maybe he still loves me. Maybe there's more to what meets the eye.
Boy, was my heart wrong. We hadn't spoke ever since the breakup. Not because I don't want to, because he wouldn't reply.
Finally, I private messaged him and he said he's seeing someone new. Of course, I thought he would never reply me. Offering me a gimpse of hope that maybe we will be back together again.
He is happy. Happy with her. It's time for me to move on. Better said than done.
I loved him, still do, and always will.
People say you will not be with the one you love the most. I wanted to challenge that. Apparently, I lost.
They say, you have to live better and show him what he is missing out. But this is not a competition for me, he didn't do me wrong, love just died out, for him.
I hope I survive this, then again, I hope tomorrow never comes.
My heart,... stay strong for me.
In this case, I suspect my ex has a new girlfriend. Yes, I'm still stalking him.
And he is moving on. Although my brain has told me this a million times, but still, my hearts says... Maybe, maybe he still loves me. Maybe there's more to what meets the eye.
Boy, was my heart wrong. We hadn't spoke ever since the breakup. Not because I don't want to, because he wouldn't reply.
Finally, I private messaged him and he said he's seeing someone new. Of course, I thought he would never reply me. Offering me a gimpse of hope that maybe we will be back together again.
He is happy. Happy with her. It's time for me to move on. Better said than done.
I loved him, still do, and always will.
People say you will not be with the one you love the most. I wanted to challenge that. Apparently, I lost.
They say, you have to live better and show him what he is missing out. But this is not a competition for me, he didn't do me wrong, love just died out, for him.
I hope I survive this, then again, I hope tomorrow never comes.
My heart,... stay strong for me.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Like it was yesterday
Recently I have been working myself to death.
As much pleasure I've found being busy, I lose the capability to think. On top of it, I was getting satisfied, or should I say, sexafied.
Now that I've got my long awaited holiday, the sex stopped, sadly. And here I found myself thinking about the things I've been avoiding.
Might be the hormones, because shortly, I started crying like the day he broke my heart. I've been hypnotising myself he's not coming back, so how come I'm fantasizing he is again? It's gonna be a while till I am able to control myself again. Not to mentioned, I'm starting to get little outburst. As much as I would like to play the game where I'm friends with everyone, people are starting to tick me off. My fake face is slipping.
Sure, I'm getting a raise at work, but I'm not happy. Period. People say, I should be happy with what I have, because I'm more fortunate than anyone else. But, I'm not happy.
I live for passion. If the passion is dead, you might as well hold a gun and shoot me.
My passion, has left me long gone, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Pathetic. I'm planning a trip to visit him. Stupid. Yet, I'm doing it. What am I pining for? For him to want me back. Possibly. For him to give me one last final blow and that one last hope is gone, that I can either end my life or move on with him. I'm such a loser.
As much pleasure I've found being busy, I lose the capability to think. On top of it, I was getting satisfied, or should I say, sexafied.
Now that I've got my long awaited holiday, the sex stopped, sadly. And here I found myself thinking about the things I've been avoiding.
Might be the hormones, because shortly, I started crying like the day he broke my heart. I've been hypnotising myself he's not coming back, so how come I'm fantasizing he is again? It's gonna be a while till I am able to control myself again. Not to mentioned, I'm starting to get little outburst. As much as I would like to play the game where I'm friends with everyone, people are starting to tick me off. My fake face is slipping.
Sure, I'm getting a raise at work, but I'm not happy. Period. People say, I should be happy with what I have, because I'm more fortunate than anyone else. But, I'm not happy.
I live for passion. If the passion is dead, you might as well hold a gun and shoot me.
My passion, has left me long gone, and all I can do is cry myself to sleep. Pathetic. I'm planning a trip to visit him. Stupid. Yet, I'm doing it. What am I pining for? For him to want me back. Possibly. For him to give me one last final blow and that one last hope is gone, that I can either end my life or move on with him. I'm such a loser.
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